These Words shared by A Father That Helped Us during my time as a Brand-New Parent

"In my view I was merely in survival mode for a year."

One-time Made In Chelsea star Ryan Libbey expected to manage the demands of fatherhood.

However the actual experience soon turned out to be "very different" to his expectations.

Serious health issues surrounding the birth caused his partner Louise admitted to hospital. All of a sudden he was thrust into becoming her primary caregiver as well as looking after their baby boy Leo.

"I took on each nighttime feed, every change… every walk. The job of both parents," Ryan stated.

After 11 months he became exhausted. That was when a conversation with his own dad, on a bench in the park, that helped him see he required support.

The straightforward phrases "You're not in a healthy space. You need some help. What can I do to assist you?" paved the way for Ryan to talk openly, ask for help and find a way back.

His story is not uncommon, but seldom highlighted. While society is now more accustomed to talking about the stress on mothers and about post-natal depression, far less attention is paid about the difficulties dads go through.

'It's not weak to ask for help

Ryan thinks his difficulties are symptomatic of a larger reluctance to talk amongst men, who still hold onto negative perceptions of masculinity.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the rock that just gets hit and remains standing every time."

"It is not a display of failure to ask for help. I didn't do that fast enough," he adds.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher specialising in mental health pre and post childbirth, says men frequently refuse to admit they're having a hard time.

They can think they are "not justified to be asking for help" - most notably in front of a new mother and infant - but she highlights their mental well-being is just as important to the household.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad provided him with the opportunity to ask for a respite - going on a few days away, separate from the domestic setting, to get a fresh outlook.

He came to see he required a shift to consider his and his partner's emotions in addition to the logistical chores of taking care of a newborn.

When he opened up to Louise, he discovered he'd missed "what she longed for" -holding her hand and paying attention to her words.

Reparenting yourself'

That epiphany has transformed how Ryan views fatherhood.

He's now writing Leo letters each week about his journey as a dad, which he aspires his son will look at as he gets older.

Ryan thinks these will assist his son to better grasp the language of emotional life and interpret his approach to fatherhood.

The concept of "reparenting" is something musician Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since having his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

When he was young Stephen did not have consistent male guidance. Even with having an "amazing" relationship with his dad, long-standing trauma meant his father struggled to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, making difficult their relationship.

Stephen says bottling up feelings resulted in him make "poor actions" when younger to change how he felt, turning in substance use as an escape from the hurt.

"You turn to substances that aren't helpful," he explains. "They can temporarily change how you are feeling, but they will eventually cause more harm."

Strategies for Coping as a New Dad

• Share with someone - when you are swamped, confide in a family member, your spouse or a professional how you're feeling. It can help to reduce the stress and make you feel more supported.
• Keep up your interests - keep doing the pursuits that made you feel like the person you were before becoming a parent. Examples include exercising, meeting up with mates or gaming.
• Don't ignore the body - a good diet, staying active and if you can, resting, all are important in how your emotional health is doing.
• Meet other new dads - listening to their experiences, the difficult parts, as well as the good ones, can help to normalise how you're experiencing things.
• Remember that seeking help isn't failing - prioritising your own well-being is the best way you can care for your loved ones.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen understandably had difficulty processing the death, having not spoken to him for years.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's resolved not to "continue the chain" with his own son and instead give the safety and nurturing he lacked.

When his son starts to have a tantrum, for example, they do "shaking it out" together - processing the emotions in a healthy way.

The two men Ryan and Stephen state they have become improved and more well-rounded men because they faced their issues, changed how they express themselves, and taught themselves to regulate themselves for their kids.

"I am now more capable of… dealing with things and dealing with things," states Stephen.

"I wrote that in a message to Leo recently," Ryan shares. "I wrote, on occasion I believe my purpose is to guide and direct you how to behave, but actually, it's a two-way conversation. I'm learning just as much as you are on this path."